The Christ in Me May 14, 08

Well, I’m back.

I know it’s been a few days.

Funny thing about me-I love to write but I’ve never been consistent. Even when I kept a pen and ink journal, I always did it with the intention of writing some type of entry every day. That resolution would last about a week and then I’d go back to being my usual, procrastinating self. 

With this online journal, it’s a bit different because I’m not just writing about whatever may have happened with me on a particular day. I’m feeling led to write about how God was able to somehow USE whatever took place that day to display His glory.

So, here’s a praise….

Last week, I went to a restaurant where I met a young lady who waited on our table. Turns out she was a Christian and I felt led to speak to her and just give her some overall encouragement. She was having a rough time trying to stay optimistic in a job where most of her co-workers were non-believers. I told her about the upcoming women’s conference I was involved in and we seemed to hit it off.

Today, when I went back, I wasn’t seated in her section but I did get to see her and say ‘hello.’ I again felt compelled to share with her about a Christian Women’s Club in town that holds a monthly luncheon. I didn’t know if her schedule would allow her to take off work during the day but I wanted to let her know about the organization and make her feel welcome.

As we were talking, she put her hand on my shoulder, smiled and said, “You are such an uplifting person, you know that?”

Well, my automatic reaction was ironic laughter because *I* knew the truth! After a moment of amused chuckling at her compliment, I said, “Oh, no, it’s not me that’s uplifting, it’s Jesus!” To which she replied very earnestly, her face serious, “I know but Jesus is showing Himself through you to be an uplifter.”

I didn’t have a response to that. I could only marvel at how God’s glowing presence within me is becoming more and more apparent. I know it’s not me. No way, not at all. I don’t draw such genuiness from people because without Jesus, I have to be honest–I’m not a very genuine person. Hello…I wanted to be an actor for goodness’ sake! What does that tell you?! No, without God, I’m bitter and pessimistic. I’m cynical and selfish. I’m stand-offish and somewhat unapproachable. I don’t let people in. But through Jesus, I’m everything He is, which is warmth and love. He emanates from me and I thank Him for seeing something in me that was salvagable and lovely.

I am a diamond because Christ has made me into one. Without him, I’m nothing more than a shoddy imitation. A cheap piece of glass.

People who’ve known me for several years have started to remark on how different I seem…how much more open and at peace. Honestly, I seem different even to myself! It’s all God. I take none of the credit. What that waitress saw was not me, but the Christ in me.

So, if it seems like I’m boasting, I don’t write this to boast on myself. I write it to testify to the goodness and loving-kindness of Jesus Christ, who is taking a sad, broken, dingy little girl and slowly transforming her into a joyful, victorious, glowing woman. My anger and bitterness, though I thought I was doing a stellar job of hiding it, was seeping through in my expression and my attitude. It was a turn-off yet I could never understand why people didn’t want to be around me. I thought I was just a bad person and people could see it. But that was a lie of the enemy. I’m not the angry, bitter person I was led to believe I was. God doesn’t see me that way. He doesn’t see you that way either.

I write this in the hopes that you will read it and know that if you haven’t come to that place in your walk with God where you are seeing the gem He sees when He looks at you, stay in fellowship with your Father, believe that He is willing and able, and He will begin to reveal who you really are just as He is revealing to me who I really am with each new glory. God says, “Draw near to me and I will draw near to you…”

He’s changing me.

He can change you.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast…” -Ephesians 2:8-9